


I didn't learn who was until I learned who I wasn't

by orphan_account



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Masturbation, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 11:12:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14187645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	I didn't learn who was until I learned who I wasn't

Leonard goes to Taco Bell  
It was a normal day in The waverider. Well, as normal as The waverider gets, anyways. Leonard Snart was reading his book, and Sara, his friend, was wondering what he was doing.  
"Leonard, are you gonna keep your nose buired in that strange book of yours all summer? You gotta go out, have an adventure!" Sara exclamd.  
"Not now," Leonard said quietly. "I'm trying to decode this."  
He was looking at a cryptogram that said, "XSLFA QBE QXZL YBII". Leonard was offically stumped. He could not figure out what it meant. And it seemd very mysterious to him.  
"Rip is gonna take us to the diner for lunch, Leonard!" Sara exclames.  
Leonard, however, was not in the mood for the diner. He was publicy humiliated the last time he went, and he thougt the food wasn't very good anyway.  
"Sara, I don't want to go to the diner," Leonard said solemmly. "I want to go somewhere else."  
"But there is really nothing else in town, ulness you count the Taco Bell near the forest." Sara replied.  
"Taco Bell?" Leonard's ears perked up. He had never eaten at Taco Bell before, and ever since last week, he had a craving for mexican food for some reason.  
"Why don't we go to Taco Bell today?" Leonard asked.  
"Taco Bell?" Rip questioned. "Why d'you wanna go THERE? It smells like the bathroom when it gets clogged."  
"I had my heart set on pancakes, Sara moaned."  
"Listen, you can go to Taco Bell if you want to, but don't come crying to me when you smell like expired onions."  
"Fine, I Will." Leonard said harshly.  
"Don't let the door hit you on the way out," Rip said. But as he was exiting the The waverider, the door hit him on the way out.  
"AH HA HA HA HA HA!" said Rip. He was laughing.  
So anyways, Sara and Rip went to the diner, while Leonard tried to find the Taco Bell. He had brought with him his book and a couple bucks. But finding the Taco Bell was harder than he had previously thought. He had been looking around town for what seemed like days. The Mysteru Book wasn't helping him either. Until he saw a flicker of a sign in the forest. He went into the forest.  
"Why would there be a Taco Bell in the forest?" Dipped asked himself.  
After hiking for about an hour, Leonard finally got to the Taco Bell. But it sure didn't look like any Taco Bell he'd ever seen. It was surrounded by a barrage of giant Oak trees, in an open field, completely different from the rugged terrain of the Oregon forest. The open field was covered with at least three layers of pine needles, which got the attention of Leonard. He stuck his hand into the pine needles.  
"OW!" Leonard shouted. A pine needle poked him. It hurts.  
The resturant, Taco Bell, looked like a silo, sort of. Well, it was very cylindrical. The outside had rusty picnic tables, and looked like no one used them at all. Leonard walked up to the resturant's door.  
"Should I go in there?" Leonard asked himself. "I'm starting to have second thoughts. Why is there a small, desolate, Taco Bell in this forest, miles from the nearest road? But I guess it's my only option. Sara and Rip are probably don with lunch right now."  
And they were. Sara wondered why Leonard hadn't come back yet, but Rip didn't give a damn.  
So Leonard entered the resturant. But he was relieved to see that the interior was normal, except for its high celing. There were also no customers inside, but Leonard thought that was normal, considering how the franchise was so isolated.  
He went up to the counter. There was only one cashier working the registers. A very old, slightly deaf, bored out of his skull cashier.  
Leonard decided what he wanted to order, than approached the register.  
"Excuse me, I'll hav—"  
"WE ONLY GOT TACOS!" the cashier interrupted.  
"Ok, I guess I'll have a taco, then." Diper said.  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" the cashier yelled.  
"I SAID I WANT A TACO." Leonard yelled back.  
"Ok, then." The cahier said, then went in the back for a few minutes. When he came out, he was carrying Leonards taco.  
"That'll one dolla," the cashier said. Leonard gave him the money, and went to sit down at the least grimiest table.  
He bit into the hot, spicy, juicy taco, filled with thick, pure, meat, mild, tantalizing black beans, and sour, fluffy, sour cream. He enjoyed the single bite of that perfectly cooked taco, and still tasted it in his mouth after he swallowed it.  
But as he was about to bite into it a second time, he felt a churning movement inside his body, something that he had felt often.  
"Uh oh." Leonard said, than rushed to find the lavatory.  
"Man, that really went through me," Leonard said to himself.  
For some reason, the bathrooms were hidden in a corner, far from the counter, and far from the table he was sitting at.  
When he walked in, he found that the bathrooms were surprisingly clean, for a fast food resturant, anyway. And Leonard found this suspisicious. All of the stalls were full, and no one was using the urinals.  
But, right on cue, someone walked out of one of the stalls. Leonard didn't pay much attention to who was walking out, but he was wearing all black, and had a plastic bag with him. Leonard just had to go.  
Unfortunaly, he didn't make it in time. He checked his pants and found the worst of all.  
"Diarreah." Leonard said. "Yeegh."  
He was about to leave the stal when he noticed a bulge in his pants.  
He touched the bulge, and once he touched it, he knew excatly what it was. It was an erection.  
He found himself completely aroused after touching it, and started to do it some more. Eventually, he was ready to hardcore masturbate. He didn't know what was arousing him, but he knew he was aroused.  
He took off his blue shorts and his soiled underwear, revealing his medium-sized, but not small, penis. The tip was bright and red, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  
Leonard started to yank his Johnson harder and faster. The five-incher was getting pumped. Leonard's soiled hands started to feel bits of pre-cum on his dry fingers.  
Eventually, the medium-sized dick couldn't take it anymore, and burst in an explosion of cum. The cum got all over the walls and toilet, and Leonard felt proud. He had creamed himself for the first time, but he was upset that it was not over Sara.  
"No," Leonard thought. "All this is not enough for me. I need to release all of this!"  
With his erection still active, Leonard began yanking his penis again. It was much quicker, and Leonard cummed quicker. It was a bigger release than last time, and it began to rain Leonard's seed.  
Leonard felt more proud than last time, his heart about to burst from all the droplets of cum falling down from the celing. He felt as happy as he felt on the day of the first snowfall of the year.  
He stuck out his tongue to tast the cum, shiny from the faulty flourescent lighting in the bathroom. He tasted it, and he thought it was the one of the best tastinf things in the world, better than the largest chocolate bar, better than the rarest pig, and better than the taco he was having earlier.  
By now, he couldn't stop. He couldn't leave now and miss out on this great masturbation adventure. He wanted to taste the cum. He scraped a handfull of it off of the stall and put it in his dirty, wet, mouth.  
He grabed another, and another, and another. He was getting more aroused by consuming the cum, and he released another load.  
"So that's where it's all coming from," Leonard said to himself, cum all over his face and teeth.  
Leonard came up with a solution to get a more hardcore, adult, masturbation expierience. He was going to put it into action.  
He tilted his head down, sat down on the cum-covered ground, grabbed his hardened Johnson, and stuck it in his mouth.  
Once it was firmly in, Leonard began to suck on the very hard rod. He sucked it like the lollipop he got a the county fair a while back. It taste alot like it to.  
The legs were so expertly over his shoulder that he could've been a gymnast. The more he sucked on his hard dick, the more his aroused legs shook.  
Eventually, just when he was going to give out, he came in his mouth. It was the best thing he ever expierienced, and kept on performing fellatio on himself.  
As he was stimulating himself orally, he accidentally fell over to his side. He broke from his his penis and cummed on the floor. The floor was covered in so much of Leonard's cum that he started to make a snow angel in the cum, or, a cum angel. He was eating som in the process.  
But then he looked to his side, and immediately became so hard that the red tip was touching his short pubic hair.  
He saw what was causing it.  
He saw his underwear, covered in dark brown feces.  
He held up his underwear, which was covered in the cum-filled floor, and marveled at its erotic beauty. The feces were so beautifully ejaculated, so smooth in its sticky browness, so perfect they felt in Leonard's white hands.  
He wanted his shit.  
He held the brown underwear like a fish on a lure, and put his sticky white lips into the sticky brown feces.  
His tongue was rubbing the crap all over his tighty whites, making his mouth all a brownish-white mess. He was biting into the shit and sucked it in his mouth. It was more stimulating than ever before. He now knew that he didn't need Sara, or Lisa , or any of the other girls he had dated. All he needed was a big pile of his shit.  
He tok a scoop of the feces (He had a lot of diarrea) and began to spread it over his dick. Every time he spread the crap, he was getting more and more aroused. Once his dick was completely brown, he came again.  
It filled up all the spots in the stall that weren't covered in Leonard's cum. Once again, Leonard took big scoops of cum and consumed it in large gulps.  
Now Leonard had to put the brown sticky feces all over his penis again, and boy, did he do a good job. The brown stuff was all over his external genitals, and his testicles. He had cummed a few times here and there.  
Now, his beautiful, brown genitals, needed to be cleaned. But Leonard didn't have any cleaning supplies, so he had to suck the shit off.  
He brung his erection up to his mouth, and began to suck. This time he made it very clear to lick the feces off with his tongue, and as soon as the tongue touched his dick, he cummed.  
He was having the most fun he ever had in that bathroom stall and forgot who he was, where he lived, where he was, or what he was eating. All that was on his mind was his sweet cum.  
He just thought of a great idea.  
Leonard took a scoopful of diarreah and a scoopful of cum, and put it in the toilet.  
He flushed it, but before it want all the way down, he grabbed the wet pile of shit and cum, and stuck it in his mouth.  
Leonard was consuming all of the shit, cum, and toilet water, and it tasted great. He kept on doing it for god knows how long, and one of the times, he hit his head against the toilet rim.  
Leonard's brain must've been knocked out of place at that time, because this time, instead of putting the shit and cum in his food hole, he started to lather it on his penis again.  
He wanted more of his Johnson, but that would be a fatal mistake.  
Once it was covered again, he put it in his mouth and began sucking. But did it too hard.  
As he was sucking and cumming, he accidentaly bit on his dick.  
As soon as he tasted the blood, he broke out of coitus, and saw his lacerated penis.  
He saw a mix of blood and cum coming out of it, like aa lava, and his erectile muscle pointing out.  
Leonard grabbed it and grimaced in pain. He winced at it, and looked horrified. He snapped out of it all, and tried to figure out a solution to the castration.  
He put some more diarea and cum on it, but that didn't stop the bleeding.  
Leonard spit out the piece of dick that he bit off, and tried to reapply it, but it didn't work.  
No matter how many times he tried to reattach it, they all failed.  
He put more of his reproductive fluids on the castrarion, but they only made the penis swell up, like the Goodyear blimp.  
Leonard was licking the blood off the try to stop it, but the blood was coming faster than he could lick.  
He was now in ultimate pain, and felt nothing like this. He screamed, as loud as he could, and felt like no one could hear him. He was screaming louder and louder, saying, "HALP! I BIT MY DICK OFF!"  
He was going insane. He started to bang against the stall, screaming "HELP!" as loud as he could yell. After a full 5 minutes, with a large mix of blood, cum, and feces on the floor, he was banging his head against the stall.  
The banging was louder than the loudest thunderstorm, and yet no one came for help.  
Leonard was alone in the bathroom, alone in the stall, alone with his beloved dick, now to near death, and unfortunately, he was near death.  
After one final blow to the head, the now-screaming Leonard was now as silent as Christmas Eve. He felk to the floor, eyes turned skyward, and fell in a mix of his own blood, cum, and feces.  
At the The waverider, Sara was feeling very worried about Leonard, so she went off and tried to find him. She went off into the forest first, (She knew where it was) and, suprinsignly, got there in less time than Leonard.  
As she entered the newly cleaned doors, she immediately noticed the once-bitten taco on one of the tables, and immediately knew it was Leonard's.  
Sara rushed into the men's bathroom, (she liked to use the urinalls) and rushed into a random stalls.  
It was her Leonard's.  
Sara looked at how messy the stall was, and how it was used to do the deed. Her pink sneakerswere sticky from stepping into the reddish-brown mess of fluids.  
She walked around the messy stall for a bit, but then saw the most horrid sight she could imagine.  
Leonard's corpse.  
Sara was welled up in tears at the sight of it, and began to cry.  
As she was crying, she sat down in a pile of the blood, feces, and cum and looked at Leonard's lifeless face.  
It was beautiful, as his smooth facial features complimented his circle of cum around his lips.  
"Oh, Leonard," Sara said through her tears, "Let me clean the white stuff off of your lips."  
Sara brought Leonard's head up to hers, and she kissed him.  
After pulling out of the kiss, Sara enjoyed it, and so she kissed him again.  
She didn't want to let go of Leonard, not now. Not when he had just died. He was her friend, after all!  
She held Leonard's naked corpse in her arms, and she felt a tingling feeling in herself, an secret dirty side.  
"No one would care if we just did it, right? He is dead, and know 1 would know in this restroom stall…" Sara thought.  
She immediately came up with an answer. She pulled Leonard's head up to her head, and kissed him again, only it was a french kiss.  
Once Sara was done, she put the body on the floor, then Sara got down on the fluid-covered floor, too.  
Sara started to go on a kiss-krazy frenzy with Leonard, that made it lok like Leonard was alive. Tongue went into Leonard's deceased mouth, scraping the feces and cum off of the roof of Leonard's mouth.  
Sara was shaking even more now, that her tongue was touching Leonard's. She unzipped her jeans, slowly slid them off, and then threw them at the wall. They stuck there from the cum.  
Sara revealed her nice, clean, exposed, virgin, vagina. She took Leonard's corpse, not noticing the eternally bleeding penis, and brung it closer to the cervix.  
She rubbed her clitoris for arousal perposes before she stuck it in, and once the dick was firmly in, she finally felt joy in her life.  
She loved the feeling of doing it to with dead friend's body, and started to get the oddest feeling.  
She lost it. She finally lost it.  
She squealed in happyness, and started to french kiss Leonard harder. Her tongue almost touched Leonard's uvula.  
She kept holding on to his lacerated dick in her vagina, and sloshing her tongue all around Leonard's mouth.  
She kept pulling in an out with Leonard's stick. Blood was getting on her urethra walls, not noticing one bit. She did not want to leave the body, not now. She would kill herself if it could mean they'd be in coitus forever.  
If only Leonard could kiss her back.  
After what seemd like hours, it wouldn't fit in. Sara finally looked down at the now pretty messed up penis.  
Sara couldn't look away at it.  
It was now swollen to the size of her head, a whole mix of rainbow colors, and still spewing lifeless cum.  
Sara vomited on it, which only made it worse. It grew bigger and bigger.  
"Oh, Leonard," she said soflty.  
Then Sara started to scream.  
She was horrorfied at the sight of it, and started to barf again. She tried to put a giant mix of blood, cum, vomit, and feces on the dick, but it didn't work. She tries to suck it all off, but found herself enjoying the sucking and the taste of Leonard's penis blood.  
She kept on sucking on it, tasting the blood, and touching and fondling Leonard's dead erectile muscle.  
She was esctatic. She was more happy than she ever had been. More happy than she was before.  
As she was squealing with delight, the stall door started to open a crack. Sara took notice of this.  
"Huh?" she asked. The door started to open more (It wasn't locked).  
Sara started to get nervous. She didn't want to go to jail for necrophilia, she was only a child, who bit off more than she could chew. She got too ahead of herself, after lusting after her friend for so long. If it was the police, she had no hope. She hoped it was just another Taco Bell employee, who would listen to her and help her out.  
The stall door finally burst open. Standing in front of it, was a man dressed in black. He had a Taco Bell logo sewn on the left of his fleece jacket. He was wearing squeaky shoes, that squeaked across the bathroom floor, He was wearing dark sunglasses.  
The mysterious man walked up to the two of them slowly. Sara stood up on her feet, fear and blood on her face.  
The man stared at Sara for a long time, until he finally said, "Are you supposed to be in this bathroom, young lady?"  
Sara was shaking in horror, now. She turned to face Leonard's naked, violated, dead body, and turned to face the man again.  
"M-mist-ter, I-idin-din't inten-nd to do t-this to m-my f-fr-fri-friend," Sara said, shaking with tears in her eyes.  
The man brought himself closer to Sara's face.  
"S-sir, your, your, your, in m-my p-p-per-ersonal spa-ace," Sara tried to manage.  
The man was inspecting a red spot on Sara's cheek. After several seconds, the man touched the spot, trailed his finger in it, and put the finger in his mouth.  
"Blood," the man whispered to himself.  
"W-what did y-you s-sa-say, S-sir?" Sara asked him, not understanding what he was saying.  
"Little girl, do you know what that is on your cheek?" the man asked.  
Sara repeated what the mysterious man did to her cheek, and said back to him, "I-It's bl-blood."  
"And with the blood being on your cheek, have you developed, shall we say, a desired taste for it?" the man asked back. Sara did not notice the retractable chisel in his right hand.  
"Um, uh, y-y-y-y-ye-ye-yes? I didn't m-mean to, I j-jus—"  
"Ssssh," the man quieted her. "If you like the addicting taste of it, why didn't you say so?" and, without warning, the man cut her across the chest with the chisel.  
She screamed at the pain of it. Blood started to pour out of the diagonal cut fast, almost covering her stomach.  
"You can lick that up. Your blood probably tastes better than that kid's," the man said pointing to Leonard. Then the man gave another cut, across her face.  
She screamed again, louder this time.  
"Now you can get the blood close to your face. And just to make sure your silent," the man then slit her across the neck.  
She could not scream this time.  
The man went into her neck, and pulled out three vocal chords. The man streched the chords out, and he jumped rope with them, while slashing Sara across the face several times.  
When her face was cut so many times that her nose fell off, the man decided it was time for the scalping. He took out a bigger knife, and slammed it right above Sara's eyebrows.  
The man gripped the knife's handle, still in her face, and began to make a deep cut. The man put all his strength into it, because he decided to make the hardest part, first. He tried to do it right on the skin, but sadly, did not do the job he liked.  
Sara's head was now topless, the top of her skull exposed and violently cut, so that you could see her brain inside the skull.  
Tge pieces of muscle and flesh were still attached to Sara's hairy scalp, so the man cut them off. The scalp was now thin as skin, and still full of Sara's hair. He hung the scalped scalp up on the hoor on the door. It would be his prize, something he kept for himself.  
Now the man prepared for the rest of the body,  
What he wanted to do next was to make it rain. Not water as you may think. He wanted it to rain something else.  
He got down to Sara's blood covered slashed chest, grabbed her not fully developed breasts, and began to cut off Sara's nipples.  
Once he was done, the blood started to come out, like Old Faithful Geyser. He was amazed by the sight of the fountain of blood, and began to dance around in the stall, stepping in all the fluids that were on the floor.  
When the blood was starting to flow a little less slowly, the man moved on to the legs. The man hung Sara's nipples next to the scalp (the nips were his prize too), and started to cut Sara's legs.  
He started to cut faster than a race car driver on a smooth asphalt track. Teh cuts kept on appearing on her kneecaps until the capbone was exposed. By that time, her lower legs and her body were only attached by a thin string of cartilage.  
Then the guy moved on to her toes. With the knife as sharp as knife, he cut every one of her little toes off.  
Sara body was losing so much blood that she started to flatten out. The place where it was mostly coming out of, was her toes. The toe blood was making a sea of red on the floor.  
The man, now with his Taco Bell fleece jacket splattered with red on it, now dug the knife into Sara's left foot. He began to make another cut, similar to what he did to her scalp, and began to cut ths skin off of the foot. The cut was much better than what he did to the scalp.  
He did the same to the other foot, and then hung the skin up next to the scalp.  
Sara's feet were now just a big mess of flesh, muscle, blood and nerves, Sara (who was still alive)'s face was now completely exposed to all the cuts she was getting, he mouth hanging open like a gaping person.  
The blood was already covering her chest, and since the man actually had a soul, he didn't want to subject the little girl to the misery she was about to endure. So he took the long knife, and stabbed her in the middle of her chest, where her heart was. Blood poured out of it more than her cut off nipples did.  
Once most of the blood was done spewing, the man got down near Sara's bloody vagina.  
He very carefully took his knife, got down near the cervix, and stuck the knife's blade up the hole.  
While in Sara's cock cave, the man was rotating the knife, cutting up the walls of Sara's egg chamber. The tip of it got finally inside it, and, very carefully, snipped every one of Sara's fallopians.  
It was a hard job. He had to be very careful. He had done it many times before, but today wasn't his best day. He accidentally slit some of the sides of Sara's vagina, cutting into the muscle surrounding it. The man was very embarrassed.  
"Shit, hopefully no one will notice that," he said to himself. He took the knife out of Sara's hole, with ovaries and two Fallopian's on the blood-covered blade.  
The man got out a big plastic trash bag, and scraped the knife on it, making the contents on it go into the bag.  
But since the knife's handle was covered in more blood than it usually was, he accidentally let it slip, and it dug into Sara's right shoulder.  
"Perfect," the man said ominously.  
The man got out a pair of vinyl gloves and put them on his hands. He gripped the knife tightly, wanting a deeper cut than he had before. After a while, after digging and digging and digging, the man's knife got throught to the other side.  
Once the man saw the job he did, he threw the arm in his trash bag. He felt great pride, and felt that he could easily achieve his goal now.  
So he went to the other side of Sara's nearly skinned body and began to cut that arm off.  
It was easier to do than the other one, suprisingly, and once he was done with that, he threw that arm into the garbage bag.  
Sara's body was now almost flat, due to all the blood loss. The man tasted some of it, and thought that he should get a jar four later.  
Now for the legs. The man did the same with her legs, and they felt like they were getting easier to cut off each time.  
The legs were off, and the man threw it in the bag. Sara's body was flat now. Almost all the blood from her body was gone.  
Embracing Sara's dismembered body, he hugged it, licked the remaining blood off, and put the body in the bag.  
The man, now, had just noticed Leonard on the floor, and figured, "He must've caused all this on the walls."  
"Another one couldn't hurt," the man said to himself, and started to cut off Leonard's appendages.  
He did it in the same order and same manner as Sara's. It was done quickly, and put all of it in the bag as well.  
Now it was time to clean up. As you can imagine, the bathroom stall was a big mess of fluids.  
The man got out a big chisel, and started to chisel the cum off of the walls and into the bag. It took a long while, about 2 or 3 hours.  
Once it was done, he needed to clean the floor, so he went outside the stall, and got a mop that he had with him the whole time.  
He mopped the whole mess of things up off the floor and into the bag, until the floors and wall looked respectable, for a fast-food bathroom, anyway.  
The man got out some toilet cleaner and cleaned the toilet, because it was way more messier than the stall itself. After a few minutes, the toilet cleaning was over, and the stall was a clean as a new car. It smelled like it too.  
The man left the bathroom, and the stall waited, ready for it's next victim.  
The man got out of the bathroom, and went into the back kitchen of the Taco Bell.  
He got near a machine. It was an odd looking machine. It had a crank on the side, a funnel on the top, an something shaped like a taco on the side, near a conveyer belt.  
"Why do I have to do everything myself?" the man questioned.  
He hung up his blood-stained jacket and sunglasses, revealing his Taco Bell employee uniform. It was spotless.  
The man took the bag, and, one by one, started to put the body parts into the funnel.  
Once the bag was half-empty, he kept on putting more parts in, only this time, he turned the crank. Once the bag was empty, out popped out two tacos. They weren't really tacos, really. They were actually human body parts in the shape of tacos.  
They went down the conveyer belt, and the employee, using spray cans, began to spray paint the body parts. Once they got to the Taco Bell tissue paper at the end of the conveyer belt, they looked like genuine tacos.  
The man grabbed one of the 'tacos', wrapped it in tissue paper, and went to the front of the counter. He handed it to the old man cashier, then went back into the depths of the kitchen.  
"Here's your TACO, SIR!" the cashier said to the british customer.  
"You're welcome," Rip said, handing the cashier the money


End file.
